Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Vice Grip Adventure

I have a badish cough right now and I thought maybe some Sprite would help clear my throat a little. However, Jordan was the last person to open and close the Sprite bottle, and he likes to screw the cap on really tight so it preserves all its pleasurable fizziness. I tried unscrewing the cap with my bear hands and ended up with cap burn that still hurts. I tried using a dishcloth to create more friction and protect my fragile hands, but it just slid around the outside of the cap. I put on my leather glove and tried opening the bottle, hoping the leather would give me a better grip. That didn't work either.

Finally I got out Jordan's vice grip, and even though I fastened it on pretty tightly, it still took several minutes to open the rotten thing. I've decided that either Jordan must be very strong or I must be very weak. Seriously, why do we need a vice grip when we have Jordan's hands? Maybe Jordan is a super hero? (Hm. That means maybe they'll make a movie of him...which means maybe we'll be rich!)




The Sprite did alleviate the cough a little, but it also gave me a terrible case of the hiccups.

11 comments:

CFaux said...

That is SO funny! And it sounds like something Jordan would do too! Doing anything fun for Jordan's birthday?

Catherine Faux said...

two things:
a. If there is a movie, can I star as you?
b. what is your address?

Carrie said...

This story gives me joy because it features your lil hands. so cute.

Ro Ro Riot said...

DG: Well, we talked about going to see The Dark Knight on the Imax screen this weekend. And my brother is coming over for dinner on Sunday.

CF: If there is ever a movie about me...I will definitely consider you for the role.

C: I wish you were around to say that to my face.

Natascha said...

SO funny because I remember having the same problem.

Personally, I always felt that it's no use preserving the fizz if no one can open up the bottle to drink it.

Hannah Faux said...

That is so funny. I memories much like yours due to Jordan's extreme closure of bottle caps. Except when I tried to use the vice grip it still wouldn't open.

Ro Ro Riot said...

Ha ha. I didn't realize that this was something of family tradition. I have a confession, though: after getting some Sprite I closed the bottle tightly, thinking I was weak enough I couldn't manage to get it THAT tight, but later when I went to get some more, I couldn't open it again. So maybe I'm just not a good opener.

Catherine, I'm going to have Jordan text you our address.

Haught Fudge said...

I loved this. Mostly because it made me feel stronger than you. :) Although I will admit Leland has to open a lot of things for me. So I guess I'm not that strong as I thought I was...

Dene said...

Ah, Rosie Posie--I'm afraid you got your weak little hands from me. Try a rubber glove. Did you do a little frustration dance? One of the kitchen chairs remembers such a dance.

Ben U. said...

You can also just saw the top off. But use a fine wire mesh to filter out any particulate matter before drinking, or drink through a filtration straw -- any of these options will be adequate.

Ro Ro Riot said...

Haught Fudge, strength is relative. You'll know what I mean when you're older...

Mom, I don't know what chair you're talking about...

Ben U, you came from out of the blue. Thank you for your expert advice. I'll have to try that next time.